Australia - Melbourne, Tropical Queensland, Sydney

We fly direct from Joburg to Oz. Before touchdown we're warned that any food products will be confiscated on landing. Cue angry chomping of 500g of prime kudu biltong at the stomach-churning equivalent time of 4am. It sits badly. Once on the ground, the cute sniffer dogs patrolling the conveyor belts go crazy for my backpack and we have a complete debagging to contend with. Apparently the dogs liked the smell of dried Namibian soil on our tent pegs. The customs team seemed particularly concerned with anything approaching a seed: we bid farewell to our Ibo island coffee beans as a result.

A grand reunion with Neil and Pat in Melbourne awaits. You've seen Neighbours, or Kath and Kim for the more advanced viewer, so have a sense of Melbourne's style. Low-rise sprawl is the order of the day here, 60 or 70km of conurbation hugging the edge of Port Philip harbour. Eventually, the attainable plots give way to mansions and vineyards, pinot noir their varietal of choice. We take a little taste tour of some of the best: Red Hill and Port Philip, and marry them to local cheese. Some of this local plonk is superb. The bad news is that it doesn't come cheap.


- Indigo Kingston by the sea in Melbourne


- Pat and Neil


Neil lends us his motor, an American-handling automatic with a novelty for us, fingertip cruise control. We take it down the Great Ocean Road, West of Melbourne. It all starts well enough, but we are beaten down by some nasty weather. First rain, then fog, then rain and fog. The temperate rainforest is largely invisible to us. By the time we reach the Twelve Apostles it's just too miserable and we bale out and head inland. Bizarrely we travel through a dust storm before the rain lashes down harder than ever. We stop for the night and lash up the tent in Ballarat. The night is spent shivering as the temparature drops. This is Australia in the Summer isn't it? The local theme park is based on the gold rush of the 1800's. Lucy pans and has the knack, donating the grains she finds to a single-minded kid. One of the better theme parks.


- The rain's that way!


- Found it


- A rare dry moment in the Otway temperate rainforest


- Giddy up!


- I'm not in costume - those are my actual clothes


- Lucy panning for gold


- She's so hard on herself


- Where's there's bowling, there's Ana Lucia!


Back in Melbourne, Lucy realises her dream to stand on Ramsey St, we visit the city centre, and we drink some more wine, sparkling Shiraz winning my personal competition. Thanks Neil and Pat and Indigo for the splendid hospitality!


- Forthright Aussie advertising in Melbourne


- "Hello, is that Paul Robinson?" Lucy finds Ramsey St to her liking


- The Melbourne skyline


From the cold and wet of Victoria (apparently it went back to the usual hot and sunny the minute we departed) we enter the hot and wet of tropical Queensland. For 48 hours it rains like it's going out of fashion. We pitch tent at campsites by gorgeous beaches, under tropical foliage. At our front, the Pacific ocean, becalmed by the barrier reef. At our backs, 100m year-old tropical rainforest climbing steep hills. Our little tent is bowed but not broken in the inundation.

All manner of life on land keep us on our toes: great flying biting things; butterflies like flapping pamphlets; enormous grasshoppers and stick insects; discarded cases of mysterious winged beasts gone on to bigger and better things; mosquitoes, of course; elegant nocturnal birds of spooky call and gimlet stare; toads; shining metallic snakes. The sea delights us on a trip out to snorkel with the coral reefs, giant clams and their fishy attendants, but in the main we are warned off taking dips thanks to the presence of "marine stingers" - box jellyfish and their kin.

On our drive back through the Daintree forest towards Cairns, we stop at a fruit stall with an honesty box. It's loaded with exotic fruits. Some we can identify: rambutans crawling with green and gold ants, grapefruit, durian. Others are anonymous to us. As we dither over a purchase, Lucy spots a singular vision. A lady sits atop her power mower wearing only a hat, boxer shorts and trimmed wellies. She is not overly shy and explains the fruits we can't identify: jackfruit, soursop and chocolate sapote. Then she tells us about her unwanted tenant - a giant python who is very interested in her cat's new kittens. We have no reason to disbelieve this odd bird when she demonstrates the technique she employed to fight the snake off with a pillow. "The perils of living like a hippy," she explains. "Would you like a swim in my creek?". Knowing that pythons are excellent swimmers, Lucy is quick to decline for both of us.


- Watch out fisheys, here I come!


- Our little cabana on the beach


- It's raining again


- At Cape Tribulation, the rainforest and ever-present cloud behind


- She's a swinger. Watch that croc!


- Yet another deadly reason not to swim in the sea


- Most active he'll ever get.


Our final fling in Oz is two days in Sydney. It's a lovable city, glossy and gutsy in the centre, seedy enough to be characterful, enough gorgeous and expensive waterfront property to be seductive. It sets us up for the 24-hour trawl home with a taste of long-forgotten big-city sophistication.


- Manley beach


- You know where this is


- Obligatory tourist shot number 36


- Circular quay, Sydney

And then we're back... but not for long folks. Keep checking for details of the next stage of our World tour. First Portugal, then South America.


- Sunset over a creek in Sydney